


A Critical Role Story: For want of a mango ...

by ReprobateGamer



Series: Critical Role: Stories of Future Told [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, Marquet, Mighty Nein, No Angst, No mention of vax if he is who you are looking for, all of Vox machina is mentioned but only characters in tags have speaking parts, another canon character who it'll spoil to give their name in the tags, dalens closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:31:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReprobateGamer/pseuds/ReprobateGamer
Summary: Vox Machina and family take their annual holiday to Dalen's Closet but there is an unexpected result from events across the Lucidean Ocean .More details in the notes after the story





	1. Chapter 1

Vex’ahlia stared in shock.

The Halfling before her began to wring his hands.

“My apologises, my lady, but I’m afraid we just don’t have any.”

Vex’s mouth opened and closed, as if she was unable to get the words out.

The Halfling continued, “I’m sorry. I know how much they mean to you but they just aren’t here. There is nothing to be done.”

*** 

Percy looked around flustered.

“Juniper, get your brother down from there. Vesper, I need you to take your bag to the room.”

He rubbed his head. He was the Lord of Whitestone, surely that meant a little respect. But his children knew him as Daddy first, Mother’s darling second and the lord of a city a distant third. Percy Junior came into view standing on the back of a lumbering Trinket, a chamberpot on his head and wearing what looked suspiciously like a pair of Scanlans pantaloons.

“We are meant to be on holiday,” Percy tried again. “That doesn’t mean you can mess around.”

“Oh Percy,” Said Keyleth absently, “surely that’s exactly what it means.”

Percy looked over at her, the Voice of the Tempest, leader of the Air Ashari, currently scrawling crayons haphazardly across a piece of paper ably assisted by young Ludwig. From Percy’s eye, little Ludwig was the better drawer but he decided not to call attention to the fact. Derrig stood behind her, normally so stoic but everytime they came on this holiday, he watched the leader of his people return the gawky druid rather than the Inspiring archdruid of the AIr Ashari. 

Percy turned instead behind him. “Jarett, can’t you impose some order?”

His captain in arms shrugged. “Alas no, lord Percival. I am here only to guard your children, not to partake in choosing sides.” He said it with a straight face but after 20-something years of service, Percy could hear the amusement in his tone.

“And just where is Grog?” Percy sighed, almost dreading the answer.

“Ah, he heard that Tary was constructing sand castles and rushed off to assist.”

“Oh gods …” muttered Percy.

“Do not worry, my Lord. Trish has followed him to the beach.”

Percy nodded. He wasn’t certain at what point the long running feud between Tary and Grog over their sand castles had started but it had been running almost all the way through the two decades Vox Machina had been coming to Dalen’s Closet. An interested feud as Grog still didn’t realise there was a feud and continued to ‘offer his help.’ Which Tary had, on occasion, commanded whatever version of Doty he was up to these days to try to halt the eager goliath. And Lawrence was a lovely man but had never got to a point of being up to stand up to Grog. Trish on the other hand brooked no nonsense with any of them and would prevent any unnecessary bloodshed. Or at least keep any innocent bystanders out of harms way.

“Vesper, your room is _that_ way.” He said absently. He was sure it used to be much simpler than this to go on holiday. It was just Vox Machina themselves the first time but family meant that they needed more bags, and for a noble family to travel now, they had to bring guards and nurses.

“Velora,” he waved as he saw her enter the room, “would you please assist Vesper?”

“Sure, she’s bunking with me anyway.” Percy noticed Vesper perked up at that, put down her book and grabbed her bag, but before they could leave, Vex walked back into the room.

Percy noticed immediately that Guath, the Halfling who ran Dalen’s Closet here in Shamal Bay, was behind her, wringing his hands, a habit he had picked up over the years, probably largely from their holidays here, Percy thought to himself.

But his concern was for his wife, apparently distraught.

“Dear, what’s wrong?”

Velora approached her sister.

“Vex, what’s up?”

Vex cleared her throat and Percy noticed that everyone in the room shushed and looked over.

“Darlings, I’m sorry to report dreadful news but ….” She paused.

“What?” Velora leaned closed and Jarett instinctively reached a hand towards his crossbow

“… I’ve spoken with Guath and it’s with regret that I have to tell you all …”

Everyone was poised with nerves now.

“… that there are no mangoes this year.”

Silence.

Then Trinket sat, upending Percy Junior and let out a mournful wail. Vex immediately went over to him.

“I know buddy, I know” She enveloped the bear as best she could with a hug whilst the rest of the room relaxed. Percy was sure he could feel the smile on Jarett’s face but as he picked up his prostrate son, Jarett’s face was blank.

 _Too blank_ , Percy thought.

Velora smiled, patted her sister on the shoulder and motioned to Vesper and they left as Juniper took the opportunity to clamber up on the roof of a nearby hut, her twin brother up there and already pretending to hide.

Percy shared a look with Keyleth, who went back to her crayoning, and knelt next to his wife, bringing the one son he had grabbed in with him.

“No mangoes?” He asked, keeping his tone neutral.

“I’m sorry darling but Guath says that the shipment of fruit he was expecting never arrived.” Here she looked up from Trinket and continued earnestly, “Apparently the ship was besieged by pirates after it left Nicodranas and they took many of the supplies.”

Guath, still hovering, interjected. “The crew bravely defended themselves but the pirates had ogres who crushed men with a single blow and casters who cast fireballs by the dozen. Only a handful of brave sailors were left and all were branded by a devil woman. The cursed survivors all spoke of a mighty Orc captain who bore no blade and whom blades could not even hurt and it was his brand that the devil women scarred them with. The brand of Captain Ford TuskTooth.”

“Yes, thank you Guath, that will be all.” Percy made sure to bring the brunt of an imperial tone and Guath had already nodded and was turning away before he caught himself.

 _Lord of Whitestone_ , Percy thought to himself _and if I tried that tone on any of the children, they’d just smirk_

Vex looked at him

“What are we going to do, darling? No fruit!”

He cupped her cheek in one hand, the other holding a squirming child “My love, we are Vox Machina. We have defeated dragons.  I’m sure we can manage fruit.”

Up from the corner, Keyleth piped up, not removing her gaze from the artful masterpiece under construction. “Do you want me to grow fruit trees, or just go to the Menagerie Coast and get some?”

“See.” Before Percy could continue, Keyleth started up.

“Oh, oh. Ooohhh, we get Pike back from her naughty business with Scanlan and we take a girls trip to Ank’harel. You, me, Pike. We could pop in to see J’mon Sa Ord, get our hair done, maybe stop and get a sandkheg or two for Grog”

Percy sighed again as he thought of the damage to the Whitestone Treasury likely to ensue.

Vex had also perked up at this point. “I could do with some new silks, as could Velora. I’ll check in and see if she wants to come. Juniper, tell your brother that he shouldn’t hang upside down like that for too long. Come along Keyleth, we have places to go.

“Don’t worry buddy,” this to Trinket as she rubbed his cheeks affectionately, ”Mummy’s just going to pop out and get you some fruit.”

And with but a quick peck on the cheek, Percy was left with one son clambering back on top a still mournful bear, another deciding the white tiles were better than paper to continue his masterpiece, and the gentle thump that suggested one of the twins was abruptly off the roof.

It would Percy thought, going to check on which child had fallen, probably be less hassle to track down this Captain Tusktooth and get the fruit back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS IN NOTES FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN TWO!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Just watched Critical Role Campaign 2 episode 41 and when Matt Mercer mentioned the ship that The Mighty Nein boarded as pirates was headed to Shamal Bay, I had a sudden image of Vex looking distraught over the loss of the fruit that she had been looking forward to all year.
> 
> No idea what the calendar cycle is for Exandria so no idea if Vox Machina would be on their annual jaunt at the appropriate time but I liked the idea so ran with it, naming most of the de rolo children and imagining that life with five children would be hectic but that Vex is the absolute ruler of that family. I liked as well the idea that what actually happened was exaggerated by the time that it reached VM. I note that Fjord gave his name on the ship (so that'll probably come to bite him in the ass later ...) but Jester did mention Captain Tusktooth whilst doing that tattoo
> 
> No real angst, no sneaky blindsides by other characters, just a quick look at a slice of happy family life for once.
> 
> For reference, the five children of Percy/Vex in this universe are Vesper (originally Elaina but now updated to remain in canon), the twins Juniper (previously Vesper but that had to change!) and Vax'ilan (deliberately close but not the same), Percy (IV) and the youngest Ludwig


	2. ... the party was split

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following on from the last chapter, Vex, Velora, Keyleth and Pike head to Ank'harel for a girls night out and maybe some fresh fruit.  
> What could possibly go wrong?

… The party was split

 

Vex watched the light stream in through the window. The early morning air was dusty, or possibly sandy, and motes floated in the warm glow as it silhouetted the bars in the window.

The light may have been soft but the bench under her was hard, rigid against her back as she lay against it, legs up against the wall. Despite the discomfort, she was calm. As the years had gone by, she had got used to waking just before dawn and spending just a little time in contemplation of her god.

Five children had certainly helped with the getting up early thing, but over the years her role as Champion of Pelor had led to a quiet acceptance of her faith in the Dawnfather. No way near the full devotion that Pike had to Serenrae, but more than the passing acquiesce that Scanlan had to the goddess he was champion of. Largely, Vex believed that this was Scanlans devotion to his wife, and his word more than any disrespect to Ioun and besides, he would still have a longer time than Vex to properly work out his beliefs.

Pike was sat crossed legged on the floor, near enough to Vex that she would have been able to reach out to touch her. She was in mediation to her goddess also, her breathing calm and regular.

Unlike their companions.

Keyleth sat on the next bench over, fidgeting and squirming, unable to stay still, nervously looking around with a faintly guilty expression.

Velora meanwhile continued to pace to and fro. She whirled suddenly, abruptly facing Pike and Vex.

“How can you be so calm!” It was barely a question and much more of an accusation.

“We don’t have any reason to get worked up.”

Velora stared. “We are in a JAIL.”

Vex gave a slight shrug from her lying position. “So Keyleth ticks another one off her list.”

“Father is not going to like this.”

Vex frowned. “It’s really not any of his business, sister dear.”

Velora threw up her ams and started to pace again.

Keyleth cleared her throat. “I really am sorry about all this. I just really wanted to check on how the lizards were doing. I didn’t manage to last time.”

“And last time the casino threw you out into the street, Auntie KiKi. This time they’ve thrown you in jail.”

“It’s all a bit of a misunderstanding,” Vex said, trying to adopt a placating tone. “It’ll all be fine.”

“Really?” The disbelief in Velora’s tone stung just a little, thought Vex. We’ve been in worse positions.

“Really. A jail in Ank’harel doesn’t come within the top ten places where we have been in tight spots.”

“We were meant to be getting a mango. And now we are in jail for Auntie Kiki trying to rig  a casino game.”

“Well, it was, um not like that. I was just, um, checking their welfare really …” Keyleth tailed off under Velora’s gaze but it was Vex who spoke next.

“Keyleth dear, it’s all fine. Truly. Velora, you are just going have to be a little patient. And try not to disturb Trinket, please.”

Velora resumed her pacing but Vex did notice her sister was walking quieter

There was silence for a few minutes, broken only by Trinkets guttural breathing.

CLANG-ANG-ANG

The silence was broken by a metal club being dragged along the bars of the prison cell. The grizzled face of one of the gaolers looked in.

“Ya ladies are in trouble all right. Comin’ to our fine city and trying to disrupt one of our finest establishments. Just’ cos you ain’t from these parts doesn’t mean we gonna go easy on you.” He leered across the four of them.”

“I suggest that you remain quiet before you endanger yourself anymore.”

It was the first words Pike had spoken and her eyes were now open, staring straight at the gaoler.

He was taken about for a moment by her glare, then sneered and opened his mouth to retort when there was a distant commotion.

“What in the name of ..?” The gaoler turned and headed away along the corridor away from the cell.

Vex looked over at Velora. “It’ll be sorted in a moment.”

Velora just looked back incredulously.

The commotion continued and began to grow in volume as a group approached the cell. The gaoler led, a look of almost fear on his face, other gaolers followed, looking equally anxious. They stopped neared the cell door and a cadre of Ank’Harel’s Royal Cadre stepped into view.

A slender figure followed them, moving gracefully and came to a halt a few steps back from the cell door.

There was a pause.

Then one of the Royal looked meaningfully at the gaolers who stared blankly for amount before the youngest was pushed forward and he nervously gestured towards the door.

The figure didn’t move but the same royal guard stared daggers at him and the gaoler hurriedly opened the door, stepping back from the figure with a shaky bow. The figure didn’t acknowledge them but stepped into the cell.

“J’mon.” Said Vex warmly, as she swung her legs down and rose to her feet, making a curtsy. “So good to see you again.”

The figure, J’mon Sa Ord in all of their finery, inclined their head in response, a move that was treated by the assembled gaolers as the equivalent of a deep bow.

“Lady Vex’ahlia of Whitestone. As always, my city of Ank’harel is made more gracious by your presence.”

“You are too kind.”

“Though, this isn’t our normal meeting quarters.”

“Yes. Slight misunderstanding there. Afraid Keyleth may have been a little impulsive.”

The arch druid waved as J’mon looked over.

"Hello."

“Keyleth, I look forward to your visits. I’m aware that your responsibilities as Voice of the Tempest keep you busy on many occasions.”

“Um yeah, that’s true some of the time actually.”

“I understand that responsibility of having a people look to you for guidance. Do feel free to grace our court whenever you have need.”

“Um, okay. Thanks.”.

J’mon turned their gaze over to Pike, clattering slighty as Vex helped her to her feet. “Dawnmarshall Shortfoot, I hear that your temples are doing well.”

Pike bowed. “They are, yes. Thank you for asking. It gets a little tiring bouncing across continents.”

“And your husbands project comes along well?”

“The Pansophical Cantata? Yes, the new performers show promise, or so he says.”

“I await the next epic performance.”

“I shall let him know.”

“Marvellous. I believe that he also has family still within the boundaries of my city. He may want to ask them to curb their enthusiasm a little as I believe their recent acquisitions have been a little … robust.”

“I shall make sure she is aware, thank you.”

J’mon nodded again then turned to Velora.

“And Velora Vessar. I trust your family is well.”

“They are.” Velora looked a little like a rabbit caught in headlights. Meanwhile the gaolers watching all this were turning increasingly green around the gills, worried and all manner of not understanding why the ruler of their city was conversing with what they had thought were common criminals

“Now to business,” the ruler of Ank’harel continued. “I believe Keyleth started a commotion in one of the casino’s.”

“She was merely interested to check that the casino staff were treating the lizards from the Quon a Densal table. In her keenness to check, she merely forgot that she should have checked in with the casino staff first.”

“And nothing else was intended? No plans to unduly affect the table?”

“We had not yet placed any money on the table, nor spoken to anyone else placing bets upon the table.” Vex couldn’t help the sideways gaze towards Keyleth, who looked a little more ashamed. “We had barely started on our drinks.”

“And the rest of your party?”

“Oh, they are up in Shamal Bay. This was a ladies night out for mangos.”

Even the Royal Guard’s impassive demeanour cracked when J’mon Sa Ord actually laughed out loud.

“My Lady Vex’ahlia. It is certainly never dull when any of Vox Machina visit my city and I thank you for that. So these are not with you?”

They gestured over to the other end of the cell, motioning past a Trinket still standing with his back to the door, alert towards the other side of the cell. More than half a dozen ruffians were pressed against the wall at the end, as far as they could get from the ladies. All nursed bruised faces and there were signs of contusions and damage to limbs. Trinket stood facing them, teeth bared.

Pike discretely wiped a trace of blood from her armoured knuckles and Keyleth coughed her throat nervously.

Vex’s stare at their cellmates was icy. “These …men… thought that four ladies sharing their cell meant they would share their affections also.”

“I presume you taught them their mistake.”

“We allowed them to live, for now.”

“And the warden who placed you in this cell …?”

Keyleth, Pike, Vex and Velora all looked over at the elder gaoler who looked aghast. He made a sudden break, going from standing to running in an impressive quickly time, and going equally quickly from running to collapsed as the Royal Captain straight armed him across the throat and leaving him on the floor, gasping for breath.

J’mon Sa Ord turned to the young gaoler who had opened the door.

“Congratulations on your promotion,” they said with quiet menace. “I trust your first job will be to check over the procedures of this jail.”

The new warden stammered an agreement, not meeting the gaze of his liege lord.

“Now then, Lady Vex’ahlia. We have your weapons and confiscated items in our possession – I recognise the importance of some of those items - so please do accept my invitation to return to my Palace for breakfast.”

Vex made a show of thinking about it.

“Only if you have mangoes, my lord.”

“That could be arranged.”

J’mon Sa Ord stepped out from the room, most the the Royal Guard forming up to escort them. The remainder waited for the four ladies to exit, Vex calling to Trinket on the way who gave one last growl then returned to his mistress for a head rub.

The group set off, leaving two of the guard behind to strip the old gaoler of his armour and accoutrements before bodily throwing him into the jail, leaving the newly promoted warden to lock his new charge in.

Velora fell into step with her sister.

“Is this what you had planned all along?” She asked quietly, in Elvish.

“Something along these lines. We could have got out of the cell at any time but J’mon Sa Ord probably wouldn’t have invited us for breakfast if you or I picked the lock, or Keyleth went elemental and broke through the wall. Besides, we would have to track down our weapons and retrieve them and _most_ of the wardens here are just doing their jobs.”

“It really is never dull with you, is it?” Velora asked wryly.

“Why sister, I don’t know what you mean?” Vax almost affected a look of innocence that made Velora chuckle.

“We could have just bought mangoes at the bazaar.”

“Believe me, Velora dear, these ones will taste much better. And it gives J’mon Sa Ord some amusement in the bargain.”

Velora just sighed. “Percy isn’t going to be happy when he hears of this.”

“Ah, but is that because I got into trouble, or because I got into trouble without him? Besides, like Syldor, Percy doesn’t have to know about this.”

“You and Auntie Kiki always seem to get in trouble when it’s just the two of you.”

“I don’t know what you mean. Name one time”

“For one example,” as Velora looped her arm with her sister as they emerged into the sunlight and turned towards the Palace towering over the city, “you two found a mindflayer. And brought him back! And you know that PIke with tell Scanlan.”

“Well, if Percy hears it from Scanlan, I can always say he’s exaggerating.”

Velora looked at Vex who winked and couldn’t help smiling as she shook her head at her older sister.

“Now, more importantly, Velora dear, this now means that Kiki has been jailed in three of four continents on Exandria. We need to think of something next time we visit Wildemount and get her the full set.

Velora sighed again, though with a little affection as the group continued to the palace, the morning sun glinting of the minarets of Ank’harel as the promise of a new dawn washed through the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After chapter 1 occurring to me on the back of an idle comment on Critical Role, this chapter appeared in my mind nearly fully formed from the ending of that chapter.
> 
> I had in my mind the idea of a succession of pull out reveals, from the close look at the sunlight coming through a window, to the reveal they are in a cell, to the reveal of J'mon Sa Ord knowing who they all are, to the reveal that the cell in Ank'harel have many more sharing the space than just the four ladies, who are obviously more than capable of dealing with them, and if it came to it how to escape the cell if they were actually feeling threatened.
> 
> Not sure how well I managed that but that was the intent
> 
> And as always, if you made it this far, thanks for reading


End file.
